tell me about the river you take a shit in every day

Let's talk Aguachile Alley

Postby clouds » Wed May 23, 2018 4:30 pm

Inspired by a post in petty's toilet paper thread.

Every day that I am home I take a shit in the Arkansas River.

The headwaters of this 1,469 mile river are located in the Rocky Mountains in Lake County, Colorado near the town of Leadville (the highest incorporated city in the United States at 10,152' above sea level). It's a great rafting and trout fishing river up there. The clean, cold waters come from the snowmelt in the Sawatch and Mosquito ranges. I will be camping near Leadville in a few short weeks.

Image

Downstream near Cañon City, Colorado it cut 1,250 into the granite to create Royal Gorge, home of the Royal Gorge Bridge. 955 feet above the water below, perhaps your parents or step dad took you here on some grand western road trip when you were 12. It was the highest bridge in the world from it's completion in 1929 until 2001 when China beat us with the Liuguanghe Bridge over the Wu River, and still remains the highest bridge in the Unites States.

Image

Downstream from Cañon City, the river becomes broad and flat as it passes through Kansas, where people in towns such as Garden City, Wichita, and Arkansas City (pronounced Ar-kan-sas City for some reason) all take shits in it.

Image

South of Arkansas City, the river flows southeastward torwards Tulsa. Along the way dams form Kaw Lake and Keystone Lake, large flood control reservoirs. Downstream from Keystone Dam, the river flows through Tulsa where I take a shit in it almost every day.

Image

In Oklahoma the Arkansas is part of the McClellan-Kerr Arkansas River Navigation System, where the Port of Catoosa serves as the second furthest inland port after Duluth, Minnesota - allowing commercial barge traffic to reach the Mississippi River.

Image

As we head southeast towards Arkansas, we come the site of the 2002 I-40 Bridge Disaster

Image

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-40_bridge_disaster

In Arkansas the river continues on its eastward descent towards the Mississippi, passing through Little Rock where it gathers more shit.

Image

The river then flows on to its confluence with the 2,320 mile long Mississippi River near the lost town of Napoleon, Arkansas.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon,_Arkansas

And via the Big Muddy, eventually ends up in the Gulf of Mexico in the brackish waters of the Mississippi Delta. The brown water you see in the aerial photo below could be the very mud and silt which make up the delta, or it could be shit. No one knows for sure.

Image

Bonus Fact: Until Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo in 1848, the Arkansas River formed a large part of the U.S.-Mexico border
User avatar

clouds
 
Posts: 19249
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:25 pm

Postby clouds » Wed May 23, 2018 5:06 pm

wow i hope you are all taking some time to do your research before sharing a few facts about the rivers you shit in every day
User avatar

clouds
 
Posts: 19249
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:25 pm

Postby Beaver King » Wed May 23, 2018 5:13 pm

User avatar

Beaver King
ok
 
Posts: 5467
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:44 pm

Postby pablito » Wed May 23, 2018 5:17 pm

amazing thread already. cmon yall don’t be shy lets talk shit rivers
i shit in a river of my piss every damn time. it’s just how it seems to go down i guess. i’d like to shit in a nice huge water river though that sounds grand! i wanna shit into the grand canyon
*Offer temporarily suspended in light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Thank you for understanding
User avatar

pablito
 
Posts: 14023
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:25 pm
Location: chicago illinois, pm me for address, come fucking fight me*

Postby terminus » Wed May 23, 2018 5:22 pm

the big sioux river also colloquially known as the "big poo"
it's interesting, the posts
User avatar

terminus
 
Posts: 7380
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:55 pm
Location: booted as the fuck

Postby bongo » Wed May 23, 2018 5:24 pm

i sponsor a group rivershit the second tuesday of every month
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
User avatar

bongo
man in hammock
 
Posts: 73456
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:32 pm
Location: Malaise (Live Acoustic)

Postby goldmatt » Wed May 23, 2018 5:31 pm

User avatar

goldmatt
 
Posts: 6477
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:11 pm
Location: Madison, WI

Postby blab » Wed May 23, 2018 5:47 pm

Trinity River

the most gorgeous river in the country

Image

folks know it from the alligator gar episode of River Monsters.

Image

watch out when your shittin are you might run into one of these! don't worry, they're nice and not usually big. iirc they won't bite you, but they got a mean tail fin!
User avatar

blab
 
Posts: 14999
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:09 pm
Location: <3

Postby i feel fine » Wed May 23, 2018 5:51 pm

i shit in a big river with my wife
A I R
User avatar

i feel fine
i'm ill not sicc
 
Posts: 12418
Joined: Wed Dec 11, 2013 4:05 am

Postby kit fox » Wed May 23, 2018 6:09 pm

the huron river. it originates in a swamp and then tracks about 40 miles southwest before turning sharply, and begins tracking southeast ending in Lake Erie. Lake Erie is pretty fucked because it catches a lot of river water with fertilizer runoff from farming communities (plus all my shit) which feed the algae blooms that starve the fish for oxygen. I'm not going to stop shitting in it though I tell you what.
User avatar

kit fox
Mike Vance
 
Posts: 21146
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:57 pm

Postby Beaver King » Wed May 23, 2018 8:06 pm

do you shit while submerged in the river, or squat above it?
User avatar

Beaver King
ok
 
Posts: 5467
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:44 pm

Postby fresco painter » Wed May 23, 2018 8:10 pm

this thread dumps
User avatar

fresco painter
Comptroller
 
Posts: 31305
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:13 am
Location: rare turtle

Postby fresco painter » Wed May 23, 2018 8:13 pm

Cowlitz river is pretty neat, I think it's snowmelt and shit from the cascades. Eventually it flows down in the columbia river valley or something
User avatar

fresco painter
Comptroller
 
Posts: 31305
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:13 am
Location: rare turtle

Postby chandler » Wed May 23, 2018 8:18 pm

The Delaware River, made famous when Washington crossed it

If you look closely at the well known painting, you can see floating turds dropped by signers of the declaration of independence
i've been getting really into pestcest too lately. haven't really been able to find much good ant stuff, though. anybody have any links to some good biting vids/pics?
User avatar

chandler
 
Posts: 11516
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:15 pm

Postby fuckles » Wed May 23, 2018 9:03 pm

i shat in the pacific ocean once and got in trouble for it
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
User avatar

fuckles
 
Posts: 38199
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:58 pm
Location: balls deep in a dumpster

Postby gallits » Wed May 23, 2018 9:11 pm

I live really near the coast on this one but I guess we can ramp it up by considering the entirety of the country I live in as effectively defined as the delta of the Rhine.
Canals and rivers can only be distinguished by name in The Netherlands, the one in which my shit most probably takes passage is the verversingskanaal (literally, refreshments canal) of The Hague
Image
This is taken right by a lock, which is rare in holland because the elevation rarely changes. In this case, the Dunes which The Hague famously sits behind cause a slight elevation in the water table as the canal passes between The Hague and Scheveningen.
Locally this canal is notable for its width and the many houseboats that line its banks. I seem to only be able to find a picture from the 1950s of the latter, although it doesn't look much different from this view today.
Image
User avatar

gallits
 
Posts: 10055
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:45 pm
Location: On Hadrian's wall

Postby clouds » Wed May 23, 2018 9:16 pm

cowlitz is a good one. doubt too many boarders shit in that river every day.

the deleware has gotta be one of the more popular rivers for boarders to shit in. historical shit river.
User avatar

clouds
 
Posts: 19249
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:25 pm

Postby incoherent grunting » Wed May 23, 2018 9:25 pm

Ooh baby, crunch a grumpy into that big beautiful Bow - home to some of the world's best fishing - wash it out to Hudson's Bay, set it free.
Image

I've had a tour of both treatment plants in the city, and if you fall into these pools of shit you'll be pulled down and killed instantly.
Image

Later, shit.
Image
"let's get psychic not blacked out. Let's get wild without getting sick. Let's get turnt while staying woke."
User avatar

incoherent grunting
 
Posts: 15637
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:21 pm
Location: life's a beach

Postby clouds » Wed May 23, 2018 9:33 pm

man ive toured drinking water treatment plants but never a sewage treatment plant. that sounds fun as...shit?
User avatar

clouds
 
Posts: 19249
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:25 pm

Postby lights » Wed May 23, 2018 10:38 pm

Well this thread got me curious about where my shit goes, and turns out I was able to look it up in some detail!
Image

Turns out my shit goes through a combined sewer system (which I guess is when storm water and shit go through the same system), and though some of it is directed elsewhere I can say with some certainty that at least some of my shit has gone into the Anacostia River right by that red arrow there.

Like you'd imagine given that this river is used for sewage runoff for DC, this river used to be pretty fuckin gross. A lot of groups have put in work, though, and the quality of the river is improving! Enough that I'd go canoeing on it, but still wouldn't swim in it.

Some sites of note are the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, which essentially is a preservation area for some marshes upstream from where my shit hits the river. Pretty cool spot, good boardwalks to walk out into the marsh, see some weird birds and shit. Very relaxing. Right across the way is the National Arboretum, which is also very relaxing plus has a bunch of columns in the middle of a field.
Image

Further downstream is Nats park! Nice ballpark, not a ton of character or whatever but it's comfy, has decent concessions (though the switch that beer guys now carry the 22oz beers may be problematic in the summer since I can't see that beer staying cold), and is really easy to get to. I particularly like the bike valet accomodation they have at the park.
Image

From there the Anacostia hits the Potomac, which flows into Chesapeake Bay and onto the ocean.
User avatar

lights
 
Posts: 3257
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:09 pm

Postby seafoam » Wed May 23, 2018 10:53 pm

We dump shit into the ocean, sometimes it comes back with shits enough to close beaches
User avatar

seafoam
 
Posts: 2772
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:48 pm
Location: 96° in the shade

Postby blab » Wed May 23, 2018 11:33 pm

this thread adds context to the phrase "up shit creek without a paddle"
User avatar

blab
 
Posts: 14999
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:09 pm
Location: <3

Postby DasLofGang » Wed May 23, 2018 11:52 pm

i shit in a lake fed by a river that famously caught on fire a bunch of times
Yes, sir, I've become a real "Net-Head!" I don't know how I communicated before I got online!
User avatar

DasLofGang
 
Posts: 39300
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 10:18 am
Location: Politricks

Postby brittle » Thu May 24, 2018 12:11 am

The closest river is about 20 miles away. But I have rafted down the Arkansas through Canon City.

My shit goes here:
Image
The Griswold Water Purification Facility was constructed in 1967. The treatment plant was built as a direct filtration drinking water treatment plant, and was originally named after former Aurora Public Works Director Leonard R. Kuiper. In 2001, the facility was renamed in honor of Aurora’s former Utilities Director, Thomas Griswold, who served as Aurora’s Utilities Director from 1986 through 2001. When built, the plant was designed to treat a maximum of 20 million gallons per day (MGD). In 1972, the plant was expanded to treat approximately 40 MGD and in 1976, was again expanded to 70 MGD. The facility underwent further renovations and maintenance between 1999 and 2001.

In 2012, the Griswold Water Purification Facility received the “Excellence in Water Treatment” distinction from the Partnership for Safe Water, the highest designation available.
User avatar

brittle
 
Posts: 28746
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:59 pm

Postby brittle » Thu May 24, 2018 12:12 am

Ive also toured a waste treatment facility (TWICE) with my boy scout troop.

It smells pretty much like you'd expect only worse.
User avatar

brittle
 
Posts: 28746
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:59 pm

Postby brittle » Thu May 24, 2018 12:16 am

I remember the guide saying that there was a 13 foot tall screen at the end of the main pipe that fed nto the plant, which needed to be cleaned every hour-- even more frequently in the summer.

One boy asked what made it so dirty and the waste guy said, "mostly corn"
User avatar

brittle
 
Posts: 28746
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:59 pm

Postby aububs » Thu May 24, 2018 7:00 am

this thread made me look up jobs in sewage treatment plants

turns out it's quite hard to get one
astonishing vigils
User avatar

aububs
 
Posts: 14264
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 3:18 pm

Postby Spoons » Thu May 24, 2018 7:01 am

op is a great post/av

or... is that the joke?
bongo wrote:spoons pounds
User avatar

Spoons
 
Posts: 1334
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:33 pm

Postby Kenny » Thu May 24, 2018 7:06 am

I took a dump in the ocean in Mexico (Baja California) once when I was a kid (like 10 or under). Still feel weird about it...
[PEACE] [LOVE] [UNITY] [RESPECT] (stay posi)

You are a sacred being of light projected into reality for a purpose. Demand the right to your moment in this holographic gift with no rules, no borders, except for those you choose to accept and live by.

Without Labour there is no Rest; nor without Fighting can the Victory be Won ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

WOAH CLICK HERE
User avatar

Kenny
"Two Phones" Maccabee
 
Posts: 28676
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:04 am
Location: The whole pub loving it


Return to Aguachile Alley

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Annie May, badhat, barbara_h, dragon jeans, fuckls, Google [Bot], jalapeño ranch, robotculinaire, sunrise, unsandpiper and 219 guests